the dreaming tree

in restless dreams i walk alone…

where is my mind??? January 30, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — sparkler420 @ 11:42 pm
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you know… every night i sit outside smoking cigarettes and staring at what few stars i can see from the center of town. sometimes i think i’d give anything to live out in the middle of nowhere… some small town… where you look up and all you can see are millions of stars and stories of constellations told long before your existence was even dreamt of. but when the sky is clear and i can see the stars, i sit there and think… how thousands of years ago my anscestors were able to look up into the night sky and see the exact same stars that i’m looking at now. over the years the earth has shifted – mountains have crumbled, skyscrapers built and roads paved… and there’s very little here on earth to connect us to a time long since forgotten… but those stars are the same… they connect me to my history – what little is known of it… and it makes me feel like maybe it all does matter…

one of my mom’s best friends – kristen – who i’ve known all my life – used to have a younger brother. just over a week ago he died in iraq. our most high ruler wants to send 20,000 more troops to hell, and i wonder how many of them will never feel american soil beneath their feet again… never see their family again… i wonder how many americans will mourn. as for the rest – the ones who come home… i wonder how it will change them… my cousin jesse came back from it all a different person. there are things, inside of him… that stayed the same… but the things that changed weren’t for the better… and once a year when i see him at christmas, i find myself missing the cousin i once had – the one who always played big brother… my protector… he left a piece of himself in that desert sand. i wonder how many have died over there in this war… this “operation iraqi-freedom.” 3 years ago i stopped checking the death toll. 3 years ago it made me sick to my stomach. i don’t want to know what it is now. i wonder how many children have died… how many families have been ripped apart… but i suppose i shouldn’t sound so naive. if it wasn’t this – it would be something else. war will never end. world peace will never happen. i’m sorry to disappoint you miss america – but your platform is obsolete. but you know… i still have a little hope left in me for the fate of mankind. if i didn’t – what would be the point? and honestly – clinton could have let monica lewinsky suck him off on top of the presidential car in front of a catholic elementary school – i’ll take a democrat any day.